This is a response to recent comments left on my last two posts. Comments accusing me of ‘thin bashing’, comments that have got me thinking and questioning myself deeply. Am I, despite my zeal to promote “body love”, being exclusionary, judgmental and even mean?
One woman writes “Please be aware of the feelings and perceptions for those of us who are thin. As a 100lb petite yoga instructor, I am constantly bashed then idolized for my figure. Somehow in the culture to take back the “woman” body, it has become okay to make nasty comments to someone for being small.”
Another chides me “ judging women’s bodies (i.e. assuming you know what blonde, thin yogi pictured above has been through spiritually) is *not* the way we’re going to progress as a gender. I challenge you to keep bringing these thoughtful, intellectual messages without throwing a woman (or specific body type) under the bus to get your messages across.”
Am I guilty of disparaging my more slender sisters? Or is my message about the yoga body being misconstrued? And after some contemplation I’ve decided – yes, maybe its a little of both.
While I have not slung a single insult to any individual, my derogatory tone towards the yoga body as personified by ‘Yoga Barbie’ is clearly being taken personally. But please understand, I have nothing against white, blonde, size zero women. One of my best friends fits this exact description. And she, like I, has measured herself against an ideal relentlessly held up as an icon of beauty, and found herself wanting.
For years she has hid her “protruding collar bones” and “skinny arms” behind long-sleeved blouses (just as I have hidden my own more fleshed out biceps). She padded her bra and ate too many croissants (just as I have avoided them) in search of a plumper derrière. And I believe that even real life Barbies are not immune to such self judgement. There is always a flaw, no matter how small.
Personally I understand that this ‘fatness’ of mine exists in my head – but it has nonetheless cast a long shadow of shame and self loathing over my body – and my life. And this perception of never being pretty enough has been the experience of my thin friend – and so many of us.
My attack is not personal but political. Barbie may seem a harmless out of date cartoon, but she has been a very formative icon. She has taught and is still teaching little girls very specific messages i.e. there are wardrobes and shoes for every occasion. She preps us for a life of shopping, of buying the necessary accoutrements (clothes, bras, sexy panties, make-up, jewelery, creams, shampoos etc.) for displaying our wares.
And ever since we held her ridiculously tiny waist in our childish hands we’ve understood that her (completely unrealistic) body is the lynchpin from which all revolves. Without the right color, size and shape – you can’t have the rest.
Yoga Barbie is no different. As an icon of consumer culture, her work-out gear and yoga pants are now a gazillion dollar business. And whether she is sexily demonstrating a mind-boggling pose or sitting in Lotus smiling as blissfully as a Buddha, her taut abs and cellulite free thighs are the latest tool in the corporate arsenal to keep us buying, buying and buying some more.
Today her white, young, and usually blond image is selling everything from fitness gear, natural foods, headache pills, depression relieving pharmaceuticals to cruises, meditation retreats and lifestyle magazines. And the price we pay? Never feeling we will have the power, strength, freedom or happiness that these ads promise – without the yoga body.
It’s easy to blame corporate media for exploiting our physical insecurities but we’ve got ask why are we still buying in? Why in a time when western women enjoy more freedom than ever before do they spend so much time, energy and money living up its lithe, Lululemon clad image? Why do so many yoga teachers and yoga studios promote classes, workshops, retreats (and selfie Instagram feeds) through some version of the glowing, acrobatic yoga body?
What are they selling?An empowering ideal of inspiration? The natural outcome of self-discipline and dietary control? The result of a wholesome, healthy lifestyle? Maybe. But from where I sit it looks like the yoga body is all about the self-control, willpower and hard work. Not to mention the moral and spiritual fortitude necessary to achieve it.
I think the yoga body is selling dangerous and dis-empowering messages – that we exist to be looked at, that we must constantly strive to keep our bodies in shape, that we are not right as we are. Have we come to believe that perfecting our bodies is how we succeed in the world? But lets face it, we will never find control over our lives, through controlling our bodies.
That’s why I’ve decided, step one in this campaign to ‘give the yoga body a make-over’ is to acknowledge its powerful hold on our psyche. My intention is not to pick on thin blond women, I only want to remind us of everything this privileged white icon represents.
So sisters no matter your color, shape or size, I ask for your help in answering these questions. What unrealized aspects of ourselves allow the yoga body to thrive? What accounts for it’s appeal and allure? What messages are we buying into? How can we disentangle what is being sold to us – love, power, freedom and strength – from the image itself?
I believe once we pull out these threads – we can begin to consciously identify how our deepest desires are manipulated to fill corporate coffers. And we can begin to understand that what we are looking for, we already possess. We do not need to work for nor buy beauty, pleasure or power – we can merely claim it . Yes, it’s as simple as that.
So in closing I want to acknowledge Janne Robinson’s important points in This One’s for My Skinny Sisters “Size zeros are real women too…our world might be sick of media shoving glorified, thin, air brushed models down our throats..but is the solution to throw all skinny women under a bus because they don’t have hips to hold on to?”
No Janne, certainly not. I wholehearted agree with your beautiful words “If we want to radically shift our world we need to begin stepping over body image—trivial measurements of our worth and beauty, and relentlessly love ourselves. So let’s all get on the damn bus together and build a world that isn’t measured by the width of our hips.”